temptations &trials.
sometimes, i find myself becoming confused & it takes me awhile to realize whats going on. God is not a confusing God. i realized all that makes me unsure, all that puts worry in my heart is nothing more but a distraction to lure me away from that close relationship i have with Him. its so easy for my heart, just as well as anyones, to become deceived. i know how vulnerable my heart is capabale of being and to what extent it may act upon. within that short period of time where my heart begins its 90 degree turn away from Him slowly making it around a 180, God delivers me away quickly through it all, away from temptation, away from worry, away from doubt and further confusion that can corrupt my mind.

Jeremiah 17:9 says,
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

before i felt this extreme love for Him i had no control of myself. endless thoughts of negativity, anger, hatred, pain and worry would surround me. it was too far out of my reach and too fast for me to keep up with. i no longer had authority over myself, my self conscious was not good enough, my instincts led me to the wrong direction, i leaned on my own understanding. i acted as i was my own island. it never works. at times i do feel afraid when the world begins to dig deep into my heart trying to suck me back into sin. God never fails me. I trust Him so much. God reminds me that he there all the time. He reminds me that he will deliver me from evil, he reminds me that he has unconditional love for me.

only He knows how many times ive cried on my knees, how many times ive cried at night. I never use to understand how some people would say, God spoke to me last night or God is talking to you or God will tell you. He works miracles, he broke me down gradually. i couldnt take life anymore, i gave up and i surrendered to him. it was not until i opened my heart to him that i finally understood it. i remember crying out to Him, God im tired, take me away and these words came to me in a heart beat, Cast your burden upon me and i will give you rest. i hear Him talk to me everyday now. I run to Him in the middle of the night to thank him for everything. i run to Him when im sad. He never leaves my side, He always puts me to sleep when He knows my heart is throbbing and takes the pain away because when i wake up every morning i cant help but smile. When im driving around i catch myself wanting to scream out to the world how good it feels to fall in love with God but no words seem to express these emotions. all i want to do is have more of him. only His Word fills me up. He completes me.

there is a time for everything in life (ecclesiastes 3:1--one of my favorite verses).

im in love.
i am not perfect.
i am not the best.
i am forgiven.
i am molded.
i am not mine,
i am His.
ive been given a voice to praise
& not to curse.
ive been given hands to raise my kids
& not to fight.
ive been given legs to walk with Him
to preach to one another no matter what distance
not to sit around, so useless & lethargic.
im in love.
im in love with a Man who i know will never leave me.
the only One i trust,
the only One,
the only One who knows my heart.
He cleansed my heart,
when the world left me nothing but coal.
He blessed me with strength,
when i cried for help.
He blessed me with wisdom,
when i asked, why am i so confused?
He blessed me with faith,
when i began to get sucked into the world.
He blessed me with Love,
when i was on my knees asking, why does it hurt?
& He took every grain of bitterness out of my heart.
with every scar healed
& no pain or grudge left to cling onto.
i am new.
i am forgiven.
God never fails.

in love.

nothing in my life i going right, but honestly, im the happiest i have ever been.
when i use to work at applebox located in seaport village, i never unerstood what my manager would preach to me about. she would always talk to me about how God should be our first, God is our first husband, first love, first everything.
james 1:3 says:
2 Consider it all joy, when you encounter various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

now, i clearly understand the meaning of those words. ive been face to face with several situations & all the trials ive encountered have led me closer to God. im nothing without him. gradually, i began to see myself grow into new. everything i once use to hold on to that dealt with the world began to wither away like dead leaves. my heart isnt there anymore. its not into alcohol, or concerts, hanging out downtown and whatnot. my heart is into God.

click on them!
so i REALLY want this....


Disney Kiss Charm Bracelet: Classic Disney Movie Moments Romantic Jewelry
&/or THIS...

kidada princess wrap!



DRIVING ALONG THE COAST.
ok so we went on a random trip to carlsbad. the spring flowers were so beautiful. i got lucky to take all the piktores i can with my camera before it died. the rest i took with my phone. so, we drove to carlsbad enjoyed the scene and drove back down along the coast! =] it was awesome because always told myself all the beaches connected ! and i was right =] ha. i wanted to walk all the beaches from laguna to imperial but i guess driving will suffice for now. haha. after carlsbad we parked at cardiff by the sea in encinitas to watch the sunset. afterwards, we drove along down to the california state beach i think its torrey pines state reserve and then passed through solana beach which led to lajolla shores and so and so on. we were all so pooped by the end of the day. we left around like 3 and arrived home at 8. ended our day with mcdonalds. haha.

until next time....! =]

can you say amazing?

BUBBLE BATH.
he loves morning bubble baths =]



ENJOYING THE WEATHER.
ok so i went to morse to pick up onee of my younger sisters. we got there early so i decided to watch my other sister practice at the amphitheater. the weather was great too! jacob loved going up and down the steps running from one end to another! hes so full of energy.



i was glad that caleb didnt catch pneumonia during the winter, BUT just yesterday he got sick again. i can hear the plegm and im getting worried. im praying he wont catch pneumonia! hes beginning to cough and his nose is runny. its back to the prescribed meds his pediatrician gave and back to his inhaler "/ i pray he gets better. hes having his developmental evaluation next week, i hope hes doing okay. hes gotten so far and has grown so much!....he does it all....hes taking speech classes, he learned how to walk on his own, he learned how to use a cup, he overcame pneumonia three times.....! slowly, but definitely surely. hes a strong boy <33






MORSE AUXILLARY DRILL

my younger sister is the one in the red sweats.

HOME.

the intersection that marks what we all call home <3

the crappiest car on the face of this earth.
dont let the pictures fool you.

so, remember when i talked about how i washed my car? i wake up this morning and see water spots everywhere! damn sprinklers! ah!

MY LEFT HANDED SISTER.

GOODNIGHT LOVERRRS in paradiseeee.....hills. &beyond =]